July 22, 2025
Yesterday, a friend asked me, “Are you afraid of failure?”
I paused. Before answering, I tried to define what failure means to me—not to others, but to myself. I realized I had never really thought about it before.
For me, failure isn’t about losing or falling behind. It’s about stopping—stopping the pursuit of what I love. And that hasn’t happened yet. If anything, I’ve strategically shifted goals, adjusted direction, but never truly quit.
Back to that moment—I opened my mouth to say, “If…”
And I cried.
It hit me that somewhere deep inside, there’s a fear not of failure itself, but of betraying what matters to me.
In the end, I still believe this: what others think doesn’t matter.
You can be free if you choose to do what you love.
What is Failure? (In General)
1. Definition of Failure
At its core, failure is the lack of success in achieving a desired goal or outcome.
Psychologically, it’s perceived as a personal shortcoming or a disruption of expectations.
But failure isn’t a fixed concept—it shifts across cultures, systems, and personal worldviews.
2. Psychological View of Failure
Failure often triggers emotions like shame, fear, disappointment, or grief. But it can also be:
- A catalyst for learning
- A necessary stage in skill development
- A mirror of our values and resilience
Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset research shows:
People who treat failure as feedback—rather than a verdict—are more likely to persist and ultimately succeed.
3. Cultural Perspectives on Failure
- Western cultures (U.S., Australia): Often celebrate “failing forward” and see risk-taking as a virtue.
- Eastern cultures (China, Japan): Tend to associate failure with shame or loss of face, placing more pressure on perfection—but this mindset is slowly evolving, especially among younger entrepreneurs.
What is Failure in Startups?
Startups operate in high-risk, high-uncertainty environments. Here, failure isn’t unusual—it’s expected.
1. Common Definitions in Startups
Startup failure often looks like:
- Running out of money (burn rate > revenue)
- Not achieving product-market fit
- Founders giving up or pivoting drastically
- Being unable to scale or attract users/investors
But deeper, more nuanced failures include:
- Failing to learn fast enough
- Solving a non-existent problem
- Building the wrong team
- Being ignored or outcompeted
2. Failure Rates
According to CB Insights:
- ~90% of startups fail, and the top reasons are:
| Reason | % |
|---|---|
| No market need | 42% |
| Ran out of cash | 29% |
| Not the right team | 23% |
| Got outcompeted | 19% |
| Pricing/cost issues | 18% |
3. Reframing Startup Failure
Modern startup culture reframes failure as:
- Data → Every setback is a signal to iterate
- Proof of action → You tried, you shipped, you learned
- Innovation fuel → Most successful startups (Airbnb, Slack, Instagram) were born from pivots and missteps
Paul Graham (Y Combinator) once said:
“The only way to not fail is to not try. And in startups, trying is everything.”
Summary Table
| Context | Failure Means | Deeper Interpretation |
|---|---|---|
| General Life | Not achieving a goal or ideal | An opportunity to reflect, reset, and realign |
| Psychology | Emotional response to unmet expectations | A tool for building grit and self-awareness |
| Culture | Shame (East) vs. Opportunity (West) | Evolving toward acceptance and growth |
| Startups | No PMF, cash burnout, poor team/product decisions | Part of the iteration loop to eventual success |
Closing Thoughts
Failure is messy, emotional, and often misunderstood.
But it doesn’t define you—it refines you.
Whether you’re an athlete, founder, artist, or student, the key is not to avoid failure, but to fail wisely, learn fast, and keep building what matters to you.
Your freedom begins the moment you stop fearing failure—and start creating anyway.
After learning what failure means in startups (no product-market fit) and in life (not achieving goals), I realized I’ve never been afraid of either.
Over the past 10 years, I’ve consistently achieved what I set out to do. Culturally, I used to carry the weight of Eastern expectations—but studying and working abroad for a decade has reshaped my mindset. I no longer carry shame as a default response.
Now, I stay grounded, keep expectations realistic, and focus on what really matters. I don’t rely on external validation—and I trust myself deeply. I’ve learned that doing the work I love, with humility and intention, speaks louder than anything else.
Most of what I design/build resonates—even without paid marketing—and that’s because it comes from a place of purpose, not pressure.
Published by Hannah Zhao